You Choose The Wolf You Feed

There’s an old Cherokee story about a battle between two wolves that live inside each of us. One wolf is full of negativity—self-doubt, fear, anger, and discouragement. The other wolf is full of positivity—confidence, kindness, resilience, and hope. These two wolves are constantly at odds, fighting for control. When asked which wolf wins, the answer is simple: “The one you feed.”

This story is a powerful reminder that our inner dialogue matters. The way we speak to ourselves can either feed the negative wolf or strengthen the positive one. Unfortunately, many of us unknowingly nurture the negative wolf through critical and unkind self-talk. The good news? You can change which wolf you feed by replacing negative self-talk with encouraging self-talk.

Why Self-Talk Matters

Self-talk is the running commentary in your mind. It influences how you see yourself, your abilities, and the world around you. When your inner voice is negative, it can:

Lower Confidence: Doubting yourself makes it harder to take action.

Increase Stress: Negative thoughts can heighten feelings of anxiety or overwhelm.

Stifle Progress: Believing you’re incapable often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In contrast, encouraging self-talk can:

Boost Self-Esteem: Speaking kindly to yourself builds confidence.

Promote Resilience: Encouraging thoughts help you bounce back from setbacks.

Foster Growth: A positive mindset fuels motivation and persistence.

The Challenge of Breaking the Cycle

It’s not always easy to silence negative self-talk. Most times they are automatic and ingrained over years. However, with consistent effort, you can interrupt the cycle and rewire your brain to focus on the positive.

How to Replace Negative Self-Talk with Encouraging Self-Talk

Replacing negative self-talk doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about shifting your focus and choosing a kinder, more constructive inner dialogue. Here’s how to get started:

Identify Negative Patterns

Pay attention to your thoughts. Are you often critical of yourself? Do you use words like "always" or "never" in a negative context? Recognizing these patterns is the first step. Are you constantly apologizing when you don't even know if you actually wronged someone? Do you talk yourself out of some of the most fun things in life? Do you tell yourself "Well I ate a cheeseburger and fries, I might as well have 2 bowls of ice cream because the day is ruined?"

Or what about "Everyone in here is going faster than me. I don't know why I even try."

Or "That person over there is squatting deep enough. They shouldn't get credit for their exercise today." Or "I need to lose weight before I can go to the gym."

Or "I'm just not someone who exercises."

Or "I'm not someone who eats vegetables."

Or "I missed my workout yesterday, I can't believe I did it again. What a waste of time it is for me to even try to start exercising. Clearly I can't get this right."

Or "My spouse doesn't find me attractive anymore. I've let myself go. I'm not valuable anymore."

Or "I'm a terrible Dad. I work too much. I don't get enough time with my kids to lead for them."

Or "I'm not providing enough for my family. Failure."

Even when things are amazing, it’s very easy to focus on the “problem areas.”

Our brains are wired to detect flaws. But we often get “false positives”: cues or feedback that seems to knock all the good stuff off the table. We fixate on the negative even when it doesn’t represent our actual lives. And when we place uncommunicated expectations on others because we are feeding the wrong wolf, then we can suck others into our world and that wolf devours.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Ask yourself: Is this thought true? Would I say this to a friend? Often, negative self-talk is exaggerated or based on fear rather than fact.

"Everyone in here is going faster than me. I don't know why I even try."

Answer: "I'm here. I showed up. No one else cares how I'm doing. This pace is great for me!"

"That person over there is squatting deep enough. They shouldn't get credit for their exercise today."

Answer: No answer. Just stop being a douche. You don't need to worry about anyone else. Life isn't a fitness competition. They don't care how deep you squat and if they do, they need to kick rocks.

"I need to lose weight before I can go to the gym."

Answer: "I am going to the gym for more reasons than weight loss. I'm doing this for my confidence. For longevity and strength that will help me live longer. Who cares what Instagram says!"

You don't. The gym exists for you and everyone else. We can all co-exist in the same space no matter how fit we are. If you don't feel welcome somewhere, come see us. We've got your back and, we start everyone off with 1 on 1 training to help you get more confident and comfortable.

"I'm just not someone who exercises."

"I'm not someone who eats vegetables."

"I missed my workout yesterday, I can't believe I did it again. What a waste of time it is for me to even try to start exercising. Clearly I can't get this right."

"My spouse doesn't find me attractive anymore. I've let myself go. I'm not valuable anymore."

"I'm a terrible Dad. I work too much. I don't get enough time with my kids to lead for them."

"I'm not providing enough for my family. Failure."

Create Encouraging Statements

Replace negative statements with empowering ones. For example, if you often think, "I’m not good at this," try, "I am learning and improving every day."

Working with a personal trainer, for instance, might lead you to replace "I’ll never be able to do a push-up" with "Each session, I’m getting stronger and closer to my goal."

If you’re working with a nutrition coach, replace "I always fail at eating healthy" with "I am learning new habits that support my health and energy."

Practice Daily

Incorporate these statements into your routine. Say them aloud, write them down, or repeat them during moments of doubt. For example, before a tough workout, remind yourself, "I am capable of doing hard things."

Surround Yourself with Positivity

Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Their positivity can reinforce your new mindset. Your trainer or coach can play a key role here by offering consistent encouragement and celebrating your progress.

The Long-Term Benefits of Encouraging Self-Talk

When you commit to replacing negative self-talk with encouraging statements, you’ll notice profound changes over time. You’ll feel more confident, approach challenges with a growth mindset, and cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and self-compassion.

Start Your Positive Mindset Journey

At Breakaway Fitness & Performance, we believe that mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness. Our trainers not only guide you through workouts but also help you build confidence and resilience through positive reinforcement. Imagine hearing, "You’re stronger than you think," or "You’re making amazing progress," every step of the way.

Ready to transform your mindset and your fitness journey? Schedule a No Sweat Intro today at bfpnc.com to get started!